I’ve been quiet for a few weeks (duh, check the site name)… but it’s because after writing about purpose, I did some more reflecting on what exactly my purpose is in asking you to sit here with me and give me the gift of your time while you read my thoughts. I want to give you something of value.
I’ve learned since becoming a Younique presenter to work backwards from a goal. To “reverse engineer” as Chalene Johnson likes to call it. So, I looked at my purpose in starting my blog: to share my attempts, failures, and successes in an effort to help other women see that it’s okay to be imperfect. Without being too grandiose, I’d love it if this blog encourages just one woman to try something that will help her grow in her own confidence.
As I reverse engineered, I broke down the idea of confidence into smaller components. I believe these components help me to look at my daily actions and regularly revisit my goals in order to stay the course when it comes to my priorities and my purpose.
I started with three components. As these things tend to go, the longer I sat on this idea, the more components I found. I’m a work in progress. Disclaimer: this list is subject to change as I grow and learn and change.
Before you go on, which I hope you will, let me say I am not a licensed therapist… yet. I find these ideas in my own experiences and the stories that come into my school counseling office. You’d be amazed at how many of the issues I see in children are also noticeable in adults. Especially when it comes to our sense of self-worth!
- Physical Confidence
This is the biggie in our society. We want to feel good about our physical appearance and abilities. This component includes ideas influencing appearance, such as nutrition, working out, skincare, makeup, and clothes. In my humble opinion, it also includes confidence in our abilities to perform certain tasks physically. Many people increase confidence through physical undertakings such as marathons, mountain climbing, or even being able to run around with their children without feeling drained. These things, for me, all stem from a confidence in our own physical appearance and ability. Physical confidence can be a struggle for many of us. It’s one we hope will not be a struggle for our children.
- Financial Confidence
I don’t know if it’s because I’m now in my mid-30s or if my social media newsfeeds just knows me that well now…but I’ve seen a huge increase in people’s desire to be financially secure and independent. It was certainly a motivating factor behind my deciding to become a network marketer (although clearly the journey has become so much more than supplemental income). Budgets have been a part of my life since I left home for college. Mr. BQC is new to the practice. We struggle. We argue. We grow. Budgeting is easy (conceptually) and hard (to put into practice) at the same time. Financial confidence means different things to different people. For me, it’s a sense of security and being prepared. For others, it’s the freedom to explore new experiences or purchases. Find what gives you peace when you think about your finances. Start there.
- Confidence from Relationships
I tell my junior high students, when we look at gritty people, to notice how many of these role models note a strong support network as what helped them get through the tough times. I encourage them to find their own personal cheerleading squad. Surround yourself with people who are genuinely happy for your success. Find people for whom you feel genuinely happy. Build each other up. Give honest compliments. When it comes to supportive relationships, often times you get what you give.
+1 (or 4). Spiritual Confidence
This component is an add-on that I originally didn’t include. However, since I’m trying to be authentic here, I have to be true to myself and keep it in this post. For me, spiritual confidence creates the freeing feeling of knowing sometimes I’m not in the driver’s seat. I have to schedule time to build my faith. The same junior high students who noticed the importance of support networks also noticed how many people turned to their faith in times of need.
+2 (5). Confidence in Competence (Skills for Work or Parenting or Hobbies)
Competence to me means you’re good at what you do. To me, feeling confident as a parent would fall under this component. Mr. BQC and I do not have children… yet (which is how this component also almost didn’t make the cut). I do, however, spend part of my time as a school counselor working with parents who feel insecure in the ways they are guiding their children. “Am I doing this right?” “Is there a better way?” “I just don’t want to screw up my child!” Parenting sounds scary, and I’m certainly not a first-hand experience expert. However, I do know feeling confidence and competent in an area of skill, especially if it’s a skill you use daily, it critical to having a healthy sense of self. And who doesn’t want to raise children who are confident and successful?
The good news about each of these components is they can be learned and practiced and improved. We are not a species relegated to stagnant stuckness (yes, I made that up). Find the areas where you already feel confident. Notice the areas where you struggle. Make the decision to be proactive and improve the weaknesses. But don’t forget to celebrate the strengths.
I found out my areas where I could improve my confidence. I’m happy to share with you the tools that have helped me grow my confidence physically and financially.
I know how frustrating it can be to try method after product after tool after advice to try and find what works. Obviously, not everything works the same for everyone, but I’ve compiled a list of six tools and products that I’ve found to be AMAZING. I use them daily! Don’t worry, this isn’t a shameless Younique plug… there are products and tools from many different sources, all available online, and even a link to my favorite financial blog!
I’m happy to share what I’ve learned with you. I’ve created an easy-to-download PDF file of BQC’s Tried & Loved Products and Tools that have helped improve my personal physical and financial confidence. Enjoy!
Thanks as always for the gift of your time!
Please comment below and feel free to include ideas for a component you think I’ve missed.