Why Your Worth Is Greater Than Your Outcome

On my drive to work this morning (my new, shorter drive!), I chose a shorter-than-usual podcast. Gone are the mornings of 30-50 minute podcasts on my drive. Now, if I want to listen to an entire one start to finish (which I always do… meaning often I pull into the parking lot and sit in my car until it’s over!), I have to find helpful blips that are 10-20 minutes long, lest I walk into my full time job 20 minutes late.

Luckily, after this many months of being a podcast addict, I have several goodies on my to-play list. Today’s podcast came from Dawn & Traci of Social Media Marketing Happy Hour, who I now feel like I’ve spent so much time with, we are pretty much besties.. since clearly we are on a first-name basis (Don’t worry, Chalene, you’re still top o’ the list, too! In fact, y’all would probably get along well… if you don’t already).

First of all, yes, the podcast is intending for marketing, but I have garnered so many helpful life tips in listening to them.  As evidenced by this post for you, even though you’re not into marketing like I am.

One line in particular during the podcast immediately spoke to my heart.  So much so, in fact, that I attempted to put it in a note on my phone, but my phone was connected via bluetooth which means Siri won’t cooperate, so I disconnected it, but then I couldn’t listen to my podcast again, and it was just quite the mess (as it this run-on sentence).  I ended up listening to it again once I got to work (so much for shorter podcasts not keeping me in my car in the parking lot!) just so I could hear the line again.

Dawn & Traci were talking about how our fears of rejection and failure cause us to hesitate (Analysis Paralysis!), and one of them noted how so often, “We get so emotionally attached to outcomes that we don’t own, and it stops us from doing great things.”


Immediately I thought, YES.  Truth! It is SO easy to look at the likelihood of rejection of our ideas or attempts, and take it personally, as though someone is rejecting us. The part that really spoke to my heart was “emotionally attached.” Truth is, people are rejecting ideas. Plain and simple. Not you and me as people.

I loved the idea of not owning an outcome. Not defining your value as a human according to successes or failed attempts, but rather on your actual value as a human. Did you fail even though your intention was to help someone? Maybe they weren’t ready to receive your help at that moment. The attempt was still important for you on your journey, and it probably did benefit them even if not in the way you envisioned.

Yet, somehow, we distort our thoughts into thinking we are not of value because an attempt didn’t go the way we planned.

THEN (come on, you had to know there was some sort of coincidence/sign for me to inspire this post.. it’s uncanny how often that happens!), I was watching a video put out by Shari Brown, a fellow network marketer with Younique. In her video, she tells her audience, “Don’t attach yourself or your self-worth to the results.”


And there it was again. Twice in one morning.  Okay, God, message received.

I have posted on more than one occasion (ahem) about the importance of supportive relationships. Confidence truly means you support yourself, even when things aren’t working like you planned. Stop being so hard on yourself.


So, I did some reflecting and thought about how it’d been awhile since I’d posted here for you. It hasn’t been necessarily out of fear that you’ll reject me… although I do realize now that such fears do play a role in my life. I AM quite familiar with analysis paralysis, ya know.

The truth is, over the past month-ish, I spent so much energy working to raise money for Team ReJoyce and The American Cancer Society… followed immediately by studying to pass my state licensure exam for clinical counseling (I passed!)… followed immediately by moving… all while working my school counseling job full time and my network marketing job part time, that I needed some time to nap!

Self-care is important… as long as it’s not an excuse to be stagnant or inactive. #Imighthavebeenmakingexcuses

So, to get me back on track, here are a few updates on what’s been going on round here:

I am still incredibly grateful to each of you who donated/shopped/referred a friend through Confident Complexions during my Team ReJoyce fundraiser.  We donated about $150 in addition to the personal donation I’d sent in before I had the bright idea of donating my profits.  So THANK YOU!  I’m calling it a success for year one!

My dad is doing really well these days.  He’s about halfway through the radiation treatments, and seems more and more improved every time I see him.  My sister and her husband came to visit, so we spent plenty of time together… eating…. In fact, my sister and her husband did PLENTY of cooking.  I have to say, I didn’t help much.  But I did eat.

I am thrilled to have passed my state exam (The NCE – National Counselor Examination for Licensure and Certification).  Now, the only thing standing between me and a clinical practice is a mere 3,000 hour internship.  Yikes!  One day at a time!

And finally, I am sooooo glad to be finished with moving!  What.A.Hassle!  The house still isn’t upacked #notevenclose. I’ve managed to dig up most of the dishes and clothes I’ve needed for the past week.  The rest will just slowly show itself as I need it. Until summer, at which point I’m convinced I’ll have as much time in the world as I need, although that’s rarely the case.

DSC_0800 DSC_0911

My FIRST big project at the new house is setting up my very own home office for Being Quietly Confident!  I’ll be able to be more organized and purposeful with everything BQC!  I am so stinkin excited! I have BIG plans for how I want the space to function. Expect updates as I make my visions a reality!

Enough about me… I just felt somewhat obligated to explain that I haven’t forgotten about you. I just set aside time to take care of a few things so I could go back to giving you the attention you deserve! #notagoodexcuse

I’ve already created a LONG list of all the things I want to share with you over the next few months.  I’m working on a post for parents who want ideas for how to build confidence in their children!  After all, kids can be quietly confident, too!

2 thoughts on “Why Your Worth Is Greater Than Your Outcome

  1. Shirley says:

    This was great, and I needed to be reminded of this as I prepare to get a review back on my book. Also, I’ve fallen in love with The Moth podcasts. They make the drive from Iowa to Texas a lot faster. Some episodes are only 23 minutes, so maybe those can work for you!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Carolyn says:

      Thanks, Shirley! I can’t imagine how vulnerable it feels to get back your book review! Is this the book you wrote during Nanowrimo? I’ll be sending good thoughts and prayers your way for the review! I listened to The Moth at your suggestion, and it’s great!!! It ALMOST makes me excited for school to start so I can listen on my drive. Almost. Haha!


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