If you follow me on Facebook or have ever come across my #adjustingtocountrylife pics on Facebook or Instagram, you’ve probably already seen some of the learning experiences I’ve had since moving out of the city (such as thinking we DO need a tractor to take out the trash!).
Or perhaps you’ve seen our boxer dog, Hazel, as she injures her way through the adjustment.
There’s been a skunk..
and a snakebite (complete with emergency vet trip)… that also required Epsom salt paw baths…
It can be pretty exhausting out here! It’s an adventure, to say the least.
I say “out of the city,” but truly we are only about 10 minutes from the closest town. The only thing I’ve had difficulty getting so far is coconut oil. Yes, coconut oil. The woman at the local grocery store looked at me like I was making it up, then informed me that I could NOT find coconut oil in the deli section. Sigh.
There’s a Whole Foods about 25 minutes away. Crisis averted.
Oh, and INTERNET! In addition to coconut oil, we’ve had difficulty (to say the least) getting internet. Apparently being less than 5 minutes away from a major highway means you’re too far out to get a signal!?!? It’s been quite the experience. We even HAD internet for all of 6 hours one day before AT&T decided to cancel our account… again… for the fifth time. Truth is, our entire street can get any internet service they want. It’s only the few houses at the end of our little road (that won’t show up on GPS) who apparently aren’t allowed to have internet service. But that’s NOT the story I have to share with y’all today… this is:
When we first moved out here about a month ago, we attempted to get satellite internet.
Our neighbors suggested we give Hughes Net a try. They’d used it before, and weren’t pleased with the speed, but at least it came out here while they were on a waiting list for AT&T. So, one Friday evening, we called Hughes Net.
Now, I don’t know how recently you’ve tried to sign up for internet, but let me assure you, there is no avoiding the 800,000 questions they ask about what you plan to do with said internet access. Do you do much live gaming? No, I just need your fastest internet. Well, do you log into a VPN? Yes, and I just need your fastest internet service. Okay, what about Netflix? Do you do live streaming? YES AND I JUST NEED YOUR FASTEST INTERNET SERVICE THAT IS AVAILABLE IN MY AREA PLEASE AND THANK YOU.
The friendly representative told us the speed (or apparently the latency, as I was corrected by one very techy husband – but it’s all the same to me) available for our address, and it was BAD. So we opted out without even hearing the price. Then changed our minds. Surely slow internet is better than no internet, right? Let’s just find out what it’ll cost.
The following Monday, I called back and was connected to a new customer service rep. Gary. Oh, Gary. Gary who is clearly very unhappy with his life and his job. Or perhaps Gary thinks he’s God’s gift to internet customers. Hard to say. Either way, here are the highlights of the worst customer service experience I’ve ever had, and I wasn’t even a customer!
First, we had to go through all the rigmarole again. Yes, I watch Netflix, yes, we login to a VPN, please, Gary, I just need to know the price for your fastest speed available in our area.
Next, Gary apparently had to run a credit check to figure out what rates on this service we might qualify to receive. Fine. Just tell me the price.
We get the price. I tell Gary, “thanks, I’m just going to call my husband and let him know… then we’ll call back later today.”
At which point Gary tells me that by continually calling and not signing up, I’m “wasting every representative’s time at Hughes Net.” Say WHAT?
After I picked up jaw up off the table top, I assured Gary that I was not attempting to waste time, but that I just wanted to call my husband to tell him what it would cost us.
To which Gary replied, “If your husband makes all your decisions for you, then why isn’t he the one calling us?”
“Fine,” Gary says, “let’s just get your husband on the phone right now, on a three-way call, and we’ll sign you up.”
Well, sorry Gary, but he’s not available.
“What, so your husband just WOKE UP this morning and said ‘don’t contact me until this afternoon?!?’”
(at this point, I know what you’re thinking. You’re yelling at me, “Carolyn, why didn’t you just hang up on him after the first comment?!?!?!?” Well, it’s hard to say. It was Monday morning, I was trying to be nice, and I have no other good reason… I think my counselor brain is partly to blame because it was such a new experience for me. He was using the most polite tone I could imagine is possible to use when saying such rude things! I was almost in shock, and thinking “man, I sure hope this is being recorded for quality purposes!”)
I DID tell Gary, “Listen, Gary, it’s Monday morning… I don’t want to hang up on you. Can we please just end this phone call so I can go on with my day without having to be rude to you?”
And Gary, ohhhhh Gary, replied with “Ma’am, I won’t think about you a single second after this phone call, so don’t worry about being rude to me.”
He also said, “I just don’t understand why you’re not signing up right now. It’s clear that you have no other option, and you know you’re going to call back and sign up, so why do you continue wasting our time?” (yes, again with the “wasting time”… I guess Gary some important business to take care of that day).
I let Gary know he was the reason I was not signing up at that very moment.
He then assured me that the price would be higher the next time I called, and HE HUNG UP ON ME!
I texted Mike and said that I would spend forever without internet (which it seems might be the case, haha!) before Hughes Net got a single [expletive] dime of our money.
So, here we are. With no internet. Thank goodness for personal hotspots on phones and portable computers that can travel to places like Starbucks with wifi. Where there’s a will, there’s a wifi.
And before you ask, no, I did not go online and write a review (til this post) nor did I call and ask for a supervisor. I did get online and read Hughes Net reviews, though. All.very.bad. It turns out Hughes Net isn’t in the internet business… they are in the worldest-highest-cancellation-fee business. From what I gather (after spending way more time reading reviews than I should have), they generally provide bad service then charge you out the wazoo to cancel, which is also a hassle because they won’t give you any of your money back until you crawl on your own roof, remove the satellite they installed, and give it back to them, among several other hoop-jumping/red-tape issues.
If you’re bored and looking for a time waster (and you have internet service), I highly suggest googling Hughes Net reviews. It’s some interesting reading material. The last post on their own Facebook page was a customer saying “y’all [f*ing] suck. Like seriously, get your [shiz] together.” I did get a good laugh out of that one. Haha!
I guess I have to thank God Gary answered my phone call that day. Otherwise, we might also be listed on there as struggling to get our service either corrected or cancelled. So, thank you, Gary, for being the [expletive] you were… you saved us plenty of trouble and money.
Which leaves us back where we started. Tethering internet from our phones or taking laptops to places with wifi… and driving past the nearest town for coconut oil whenever we run out.
Luckily, without the distraction of the internet, I’m forced to enjoy the view.
Want to see more of Hazel and her antics? Find #adjustingtocountrylife or #hazelbear on Facebook and see a video of what happened to her the first day I took her in the backyard to play fetch.